If you need to quickly change your screen, the panic button on the right of your screen will take you to Google. Please keep in mind that this website will still appear in your browser history if someone wants to see what sites this device has visited. There are several different ways to delete a browser history, depending on the browser and device you are using. You can find out more information on how to do this here.

Are you a woman in need of help? Please call our 24-hour crisis line: (905) 529-8600
phone icon_pink

Our counsellors who can help you create a safety plan over the phone, learn more about Inasmuch House, or connect you to other resources.

 What is Domestic Violence and Abuse?

Domestic violence is abuse that occurs within intimate relationships. It is a pattern of control that can exist in any relationship–married, unmarried, heterosexual or same-sex. It occurs across all age, racial, socioeconomic and religious groups.

The purpose of the abuse is to control the victim’s behaviour, either by preventing them from doing what they wish to do, or by forcing them to do something against their wishes. The perpetrator accomplishes this by inducing fear. Underlying all abuse is a power imbalance between the victim and the offender.2

Are You in an Abusive Relationship?

Remember, your partner’s violence is a way to control and maintain power over you. It is not your fault. You have a right to safety and a life free from violence and intimidation.

Warning Signs of Abusive Partner

History of Abuse

  • Past record of crimes involving sexual assault, physical assault, armed robbery, etc.
  • Denies responsibility for his violent behaviour and minimizes his violence. He says that he forgets or “blacked out” during an assault, or shrugs them off as not a big deal
  • Was abused or witnessed abuse as a child. Abuse is a learned behaviour

Non-Physical Abuse

  • Goes into rage with little or no provocation
  • Harshly criticizes or says blatantly mean things about and to you (i.e. calls you horrible names)

Alcohol/Drug Abuse

  • Drugs and/or alcohol do not cause abuse, but they can contribute to an individual acting more violently

Cruelty to Animals

  • Harms, kills or brutally punishes animals or pets

Isolation

  • Tries to isolate partner from her family and friends so that she becomes more dependent on him. Often starts by criticizing her family and friends
  • Has a very limited or no social network

Jealousy & Trust

  • Monitors your every move and often accuses you of having affairs or flirting with other men
  • Checks up on you: calling you repeatedly to find out where you are, checking the mileage when you get home
  • Tends not to trust other people

Blame

  • Blames everyone and everything else for his actions (i.e. alcohol, stress, finances)

Views of Women

  • Puts down women from past relationships.
  • Makes jokes about women in general or denigrating statements about women
  • Expects girlfriend or wife to not work and always stay home
  • Believes in very traditional views about men and women and relationships

Threats

  • Threatens to kill, commit suicide, or take custody of your children if you leave him.
  • Threatens to hurt you, but dismisses it later

Self-esteem

  • Feels insecure and expects his partner to make him feel good and know what he needs

 

If you want to talk with a Shelter Counsellor about your partner’s behaviour, please call (905) 529-8149.

If you are in a crisis, call our crisis line at (905) 529-8600 or call 911

If you need to leave your partner, Inasmuch House can provide you with a safe place with support for you and your children. We have several programs for women and children at our shelter and can connect you to additional services (i.e. legal) in the community.

 

We know leaving is never easy.
We will not judge you.
We will listen and support you.

Learn more about abuse

See how we support women